


Keith and Lance Go On Adventures!

by cryviolets



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Baby, Blenders, Child Care, Crack, Crack Fic, Death, Gore, Laith, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Mpreg, Murder, To Be Continued, bear grylls - Freeform, blob man, cruickshank, klance child, lots a crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 17:19:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15778584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryviolets/pseuds/cryviolets
Summary: my friends wrote this. don’t blame me. to be continued in future. i’m apologising in advance.





	Keith and Lance Go On Adventures!

Once upon a time lived Keith and Lance they kissed once, because you know, two mouths do that when they like each other. They then went to Mr Cruickshank’s forest and they stumbled and found Mr Cruickshank and all his dead bodies. And then all of a sudden they gathered the bodies and stuffed them in a treehouse. They chopped them up into pieces and covered the walls.

A couple days later they went back to the forest. They ended up bringing a very very very big blender. They found the treehouse and took all the stuff off the wall and shoved them in the blender and started blending. And because they didn’t put the lid on it went everywhere and they thought it was delicious. And then five seconds later Mr Cruickshank stormed into the treehouse and started saying “Tonks, tonks, tonks!” Then he started running around and screaming “Delicious! Yum! Blood!” and then said, “Can I have that blender?”. Then Keith and Lance handed the blender over to Mr Cruickshank while it was still plugged in. Mr Cruickshank then put his hand in and Keith and Lance turned it on. And then lance grabbed Mr Cruickshank’s legs and pushed him in the blender, because they thought he was a threat to their relationship.

A few weeks later Keith and Lance went to the cinemas and watched how to eat a pickled fetus. As they started to watch the movie, the waitresses started handing out pickled fetuses. They were all different colours. Lance got a blue one and Keith got a red one. As the movie started explaining how to eat a pickled fetus, Keith started to eat his like it was saying.

A couple years later Keith and Lance went back to the treehouse. They ended up finding Mr Cruickshank, but he was a lot different. He was a giant blob. He was pretty solid, ya know? But anyway, back to the story. And then, all of a sudden, the left of over stuff from the blender came out and turned into a giant knife and Keith grabbed it. He started to chop up the blob into pieces then he put them into a salad. Then Keith and Lance went on a romantic date and ate salad. And with the left over chopped up buys they sold them at the Farmer’s Market with a sun saying “getcha free dead mista shankkkkyyyyy”. There was no customers so they shoved it down people’s throats. After that, they went back to Keith’s home, and because a couple years ago Keith had a child with Lance, they went out the back and started chopping up wood. Then Keith missed the wood and chopped the kid’s hand off. Then the child went inside screaming with joy to Lance. Lance got a knife and started chopping the child arm up into pieces, then continued doing this to the other limbs. They put its remains in a cave below the dead centre (Cemetery). And then, Bear Grylls came to the cave. And started eating the remains. Keith and Lance were trapped in the cave until Bear Grylls came. But Bear Grylls stayed. He slept there overnight and then in the morning he got up and started crying. Then he died of a heart attack because he saw Lance’s face. So Keith and Lance, still in the cave, started to dig. They buried themselves. Then they died. Many years later, they formed into trees. The trees got chopped down and made into firewood. Their own family hated the firewood so they burnt it. That was the end of Keith and Lance.

**Author's Note:**

> written by my lovely friends. leave them a nice comment!!


End file.
